The manosphere is micropulsing over Tom's writeup following his recent Gillette Fusion purchase. Naturally, I scoffed. I've been enjoying micropulse technology for months now. In fact I am such a devoted fan of micropulse technology that when I initially purchased the Gillette Fusion (again, months ago) I also bought the Oral-B Pulsar, the best toothbrush a man can get. I patiently await a prototype entry into the as-yet-unexamined field of micropulse deodorant, at which time every single one of my hygienic needs will be met by products that vibrate in a barely perceptible way. So much could go wrong with a Micropulse Cool Stick Clear, of course; I have every confidence that the people at Right Guard labs are simply determined to get it right the first time. Think about what hangs in the balance.
So I read on, comforted by the fact that Tommy is only now catching up in this critical game of razor-consumption oneupsmanship. Just this weekend, as I slapped down $25 to re-up on Fusion cartridges, I pondered the many increased benefits afforded by an asymptotic rise in the number of blades per razor system. I am not paying $25 for nothing, you know! I like to think that I'm doing my part to realize the gradual development of the Gillette Aleph.
Still comforted by my purchase, and not at all doubting the amount of money I was paying for disposable razors, I humored the rest of Tommy's post. But as he began to enumerate the technical specifications of his product (available courtesy of Gillettepedia, which is a nonprofit and nonpartisan online scientific resource foundation 2.0), I felt a growing sense of dread. Certainly, my face has felt the comfort of five flowing blades. Without question, I have trimmed and tidied sideburns using the single reverse blade, or as I like to call it, "the option." I think I have been very clear about my feelings on micropulse anything. But in a panic-inducing revelation, Tom revealed, much to my panicking, that he was now shaving at another level. I had been left behind.
The Gillette Fusion Phantom. It has an onboard microchip for consistent power, shave after shave. I'll see you at CVS—or I'll see you in hell.
Posted by Kriston at October 8, 2007 4:18 PMDear Kriston,
I am unsure, reading your blog, whether Gillette Fusion Phantom is good or bad. And whether you are mulling over paying $5 per replacement blade or not?
May I suggest you check out my recent blog posting at http://shave.com/blogs/king to get a perspective on the matter.
Best wishes,
Will King
Founder, King of Shaves
There remains one slight technological hitch preventing rollout of the 12-blade razor - nowhere to put the handle.
Posted by: Mike Licht at October 9, 2007 8:56 AMReference your sources Kriston.
http://www.economist.com/science/displaystory.cfm?story_id=E1_VGNQRGT for the above graph
Posted by: Jack Gannaway at October 9, 2007 9:24 AMThanks, Jack—I couldn't remember where I found that graph. I was going to hunt down the source later.
Posted by: Kriston at October 9, 2007 9:38 AMDon't beat yourself up about your pathetically outdated shaving methods, Kriston. We're talking about the PHANTOM, after all -- there's no way you could have detected its arrival unless you had similarly advanced technology.
Did I mention its awesome Halloween color scheme? I think I did not.
Posted by: Tom at October 9, 2007 10:45 AMAdded without comment:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930
Posted by: ck at October 9, 2007 5:23 PMI am not convinced that any number of blades and chips really represents an advance over the safety razor. Be a man!
Posted by: ben wolfson at October 9, 2007 9:28 PMFor a brief review of a technological nonsense like the Oral-B Pulsar is, pleas head to: http://exploded.awcr.org/PulsarBrush (Oral-B Pulsar: did they know it's for users (of this planet)?)
Posted by: A. Piana Bianco at October 11, 2007 10:45 PMWay back in undergrad days (the late 80s) before there were even triple-bladed razors, I remember standing around a boring party with some friends and we were competing to imagine the most boring possible cocktail party guest.
The clear winner was Mike, who invented a character who was a "Depilatory Engineer" (or some such title) and droned on and on about what a breakthrough the double-bladed razor was, and how, despite the fact that there was probably no topping that monumental leap, he and his colleagues soldiered bravely on in their study of ways to improve shaving technology: "For example, right now we're testing out a number of new polymers for possible use in shaving cream, amazing stuff, and, and now this is really exciting, we're also looking into advanced ski materials design for clues on how to make the head of the blade glide more quickly across the skin, and, and, hold on, where are you going?"
This persona was performed at various parties thereafter through our undergrad career. I remember when the first triple-blade razor came out, years later, and all of us contacted Mike to share the exciting news. I think we did the same when the Quattro appeared, but by time the five-blade was introduced, we were all too jaded to care.
Posted by: M/tch M/lls at October 15, 2007 1:13 PM
