. . . And Out Come the Wolves

So we're getting down to the wire and this is when the tricks go from dirty to fascinating. To wit: The Bush campaign released a television ad recently that accuses John Kerry of voting to slash the intelligence budgets. The Bush ad does this partly by employing mischaracterizations of Kerry's voting record, and partly by implying that if you vote for Kerry, America will be eaten by wolves.

Now this is an extremely grave scenario. Still, I think we can put even this dark portent into perspective. Like the Poor Man, you may be inclined to write off these wolves as being somewhat adorable—a pre-September 11 sentiment if ever there were one. This isn't quite right—I don't think these are the sort of wolves that end up on calendars and for-charity T-shirts and shed single tears for the fallen warriors with whom they share a mutual respect. Or perhaps like Kerry supporters and the Associated Press, you decry Bush's ad as fear-mongering. Hardly: for people like me, who have always been afraid of wolves, the message is fear-affirming. It's the kind of fear I remember from better days! But I think we can do better. I think we can come up with a solution: