Troy is only the second movie that made me want to walk out halfway through the viewing. The first was Gosford Park; though I was on an airplane at the time, I gave exit strategies thorough consideration. I have no excuse for suffering the conclusion of Troy. Achilles was portrayed as Allen Iverson to Agamemnon's Larry Brown—awful. Helen was a trainwreck between Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton—garbage. Trojans and Greeks spoke with a British "m'lord"—horrifying. Arguably the most devastating feature of the film was the abject absence of the gods: No mealy-mouthed metaphor, no special-effects distasters (of which there were plenty in other regards)—no moral or metaphysical architecture to the narrative to differentiate this war from any other ill-advised desert adventure. (Certainly Agamemnon bore Rumsfeldian undertones.)
OK. Fine, so this director decides that the foundation of Western literature warrants his creative license. All this I can bear for the sake of a decent battle between Hector and Achilles, were such offered. (Plus Peter O'Toole drops in to blemish his career for no good reason, a mistake the audience appreciates.) This I will suffer, Hollywood, in the name of tawdry entertainment. But for the love of the gods, there were no ancient Greek ruins at the time. No broken columns. No broken statues. You're killing me here, people.
Posted by Kriston at May 25, 2004 9:50 AMI'll wait for the dvd, then.
Posted by: J.Scott Barnard at May 25, 2004 10:25 AMI'll agree with you on the bulk of the movie (especially Helen -- fucking hell, I wouldn't have fought a roach for her, let alone General Stryker), but that fight between Hector and Achilles was good times.
Posted by: Kevin at May 25, 2004 12:01 PMThat last fight had my attention.
Posted by: Kriston at May 25, 2004 12:07 PMIf they had attempted the gods, it would've been worse. I was distracted by how much they messed with Homer's version, too, but you have to give in to the crappy homogenization sometimes and kick back. The fighting was pretty good, I thought. The thematic stuff seemed like they were blatantly ripping off Gladiator quite a bit. And yes, Helen was not nearly hot enough, especially when she was crying and smearing her makeup in half of her scenes.
Posted by: Dimmy Karras at May 25, 2004 12:10 PMI thought it was the definition of a three star summer action flick. It certainly didn't change my world, but I was entertained and most of the wide shots were great. Of course, I was definitely helped by the fact that I'd forgotten most of the details of the story other than the dragging of Hector and that big horse...
Posted by: Mike D at May 25, 2004 1:15 PMThe movie was strong. Strong like Odysseus. Odysseus was the only one strong enough to draw his bow.
Posted by: Seth at May 26, 2004 4:14 PMtry as you like to act like you went to see the film for its "historical" and/or "artistic" value, but we all knew waaaaay in advance that there were several scenes of Brad Pitt's ass and about an inch above his delectable nether regions... let's not forget that those were the primary appeal for many of us! historical accuracy, schmaccuracy...
Posted by: nor at May 27, 2004 11:49 PMTo pull the devil by the tail. (c)
Posted by: Cadwallader at June 13, 2004 6:42 PM